BFN
Posted in IVF, Pregnancy on 09/21/2009 01:10 pm by Michelle
The wait is over – today I wake up early and go to the lab for a blood test. I plan to be the first person there. I get up a 7:30 am to be there for 8 am. To my surprise the place is packed with more grey hairs then seniors day at the grocery store. I take a number and try to wait patiently for my turn. These 12 days have been so hard and I just want the results. My turn comes and the blood is drawn. In my anxisous state I ask how long to process and fax the results over to my doctor. The lady tells me that the van to take the samples to the main lab for processing does not even arrive until 10 am – so it will be late afternoon until I get my results.
When I get home I relay these details to Dirk. He wants me to call the centre to ensure they call us stat with the results – the clinical coordinator promises she will. It is 12:30 pm when the call comes – she is sorry to report that the results are negative. This time I know better then to question the results. There is no need to pee on the stick to confirm.
BFN – Big Fat Negative.
09/21/2009 at 2:02 pm
Sad is the only word to describe it. I hope your quest for a baby sees a positive result soon. Thinking of you and call to chat anytime
09/21/2009 at 3:36 pm
Hi Mich!
I did a double take upon reading your latest posting on FB. Many things come to
mind, and I’m so ever hesitant to state any of them as I do not want to say the
wrong thing.
Thinking of you. Sending you strength and courage…
Love,
G
09/21/2009 at 4:17 pm
I am so sorry to hear that Michelle. I was so hoping and keeping fingers crossed for you. I don’t know what to say except I love you dearly and feel so bad for you and Dirk. Take care sweetheart.
09/21/2009 at 4:24 pm
Negative. There’s no real way to respond to that. And once again timing and our carefully laid out plans are put to test in this life. Not to mention our emotions, the toll on the body, hormones racing through the system. Take care my friend and call when you are ready. Remember that timing is everything, rarely do we control time, and you have the uterus of a 20 year old – so potentially lots of time.
Thinking of you both
09/21/2009 at 5:32 pm
I’m so sorry, I was thinking about you all day.
The clinic is full of cotton tops in the morning for blood work that tells them how thin their blood is so they know how much rat poison to take that week. (prevents further clots/strokes)
09/21/2009 at 5:53 pm
Michelle,
I feel for you, These days just suck!!! there are no other words that can make you feel better. Please don’t ever hesitate to e-mail me if you ever want to talk been there many a times.
xoxo
Patty
09/22/2009 at 5:58 am
I cried some tears for you and Dirk yesterday – there’s nothing to say that makes the pain go away except time and a new plan. You’ve been knocked down so now you need to gather your strength and pick yourself up and decide what’s next. I am hoping that whatever happens, you end up with the positive result. I love you both
mom/Alice
09/23/2009 at 8:47 am
I’m very sorry Michelle, I will be thinking of you and sending positive baby vibes your way.
09/26/2009 at 3:26 pm
So sorry to hear the news but you are young and can try again. Hope all is well with you and Dirk. Praying for you guys. Love Aunt Marie
10/01/2009 at 1:38 pm
So, so incredibly sorry….. We sure as hell don’t deserve this, do we?
If it’s any consolation at all… I love the photo.