Clown Tears….
Posted in IVF, Pregnancy on 12/07/2009 05:28 pm by Michelle
It has been 12 days, 65 pantie liners, 33 Heparin Shots, 136 Vitamins and Supplements, 100 Estrace Pills, 133 Prometrium Pills, and 10 Antibiotics Pills since the embryo transfer. Today, the alarm clock rings at 8 am and I hit snooze. I am nervous about going to get my blood test as I have a strong feeling we are going to get another ’No’. The lady at the lab wishes me luck and tells me she hopes to see me soon. This makes me sad – I know in my heart this did not work for us. I feel like crying already.
This is our third attempt, and again it is different from the first two rounds. The first round, I felt completely nothing until the day of the pregnancy test when my boobs started to hurt. The second round, I had many symptoms: sore boobs, nausea, cramping. This round I have only had a lot of cramping, even in the last two days. My period is coming and that is really disappointing.
The morning is spent trying to lose myself in my work, but my mind always comes back to the sad thought of not being pregnant and starting over again. The clock ticks by slowly, it is now the late afternoon. ’When are they going to phone?’ – keeps going through my head. The phone rings – we both jumped. The news is what we expected. My eyes tear up immediately, they confirmed my suspicions and it hurts.
We are not pregnant.
12/07/2009 at 7:02 pm
My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry.
12/07/2009 at 8:53 pm
We are sorry to hear the news. I wish there was something we could do.
12/07/2009 at 8:56 pm
Michelle,
So sorry to hear,there are never any words to express the pain you are dealing with.
Patty & Jonathan
12/07/2009 at 9:09 pm
Thinking of you & Dirk tonight Michelle…
12/07/2009 at 9:37 pm
hugs babe, curl up and grieve a little, and take a deep breath. Love you both,
Jackie & Bryan
12/07/2009 at 9:44 pm
What a heart break, I am so sorry.
Hugs to you and Dirk.
12/07/2009 at 10:47 pm
no fair, no fair, no fair……
Mich…. my heart aches for you guys.
xo
12/08/2009 at 4:21 am
im so sorry aunt mich but things will work themselves out i promise keep your head up much love. nephew
12/08/2009 at 6:49 am
I cry for you too and I feel your pain. Hug each other and hang on.
12/08/2009 at 8:04 am
I am so sad for you guys. This really really sucks. I am a lab tech and I was wishing with all my heart that the lab had screwed up.
12/08/2009 at 9:42 am
I am so sad to hear the news. I think about you guys everyday. Lots of love to
you both.
12/08/2009 at 10:00 am
I am so sorry and sad for you both. Being your mother, your pain is my pain. Be strong. Lean on each other. I am here for you. Sending lots of love to you both.
12/09/2009 at 3:27 pm
Very sorry to hear the news, so sad for you both.
12/12/2009 at 8:25 am
Michelle and Dirk, I am very sorry to hear about the results. During this time remember that your family and friends are there for you and thier love will see through this disappointment.
12/12/2009 at 11:15 am
I’m so sorry guys, I just read your your news. It fills my heart with such sadness, especially after I read your moms comment, I wish there was something I could say to make the hurt go away. You both are so lucky to have each other.