Out of Order
Posted in IVF, Pregnancy on 12/15/2009 10:35 pm by Michelle
It has been a week since we received our disappointing news that our third attempt at IVF failed. The doctor wanted to see us before the holidays, so he arranged for us to come to his office the day following the pregnancy test. Upon entering his office, I see my file on his desk. I am amazed at how thick it is, so thick it is now actually two files and both are busting with papers.
He starts by telling us that he has reviewed my file, which probably took him a while. With the excellent quality of embryo’s and all the different protocols they have tried we should have gotten a positive pregnancy test by now. This leads him back to something he told me during my first transfer, my endometrium is too thin. A woman’s endometrium needs to be in the 8 mm to 14 mm range for a successful implantation. Mine was barely measuring 8mm, and I think he was rounding up. When a women is looking for someone to tell her she is thin, it is not their uterus lining they are hoping they point out. I am shocked, I never thought it would come to this, to the fact it is now my issue holding us back. My head is spinning: Does that mean we give up? Do we try again? What happens now?
He then tells us we still have options;
1. Reverse Dirk’s vasectomy
2. Donor Sperm
3. Find a Surrogate
We have all read about Dirk’s experience with the vasectomy – so that is not an option – even the doctor agrees. Donor Sperm does not appeal to me, that would mean the child was not fully ours, only mine. But wait, did he not just say my endometrium was too thin? When I raised this point he tells me the body reacts differently under natural circumstances and we could get pregnant. Too bad we don’t like these options.
That leaves the last option, finding someone to be a surrogate mother for our child. Dirk and I always talked about adopting if this process did not work for us, and to me this is pretty much the same thing. Another women would carry a child that would eventually be ours, the only difference is that this child would be biologically ours.
12/16/2009 at 4:05 am
IDE DO IT…………. but i kinda dont have the parts
nephew.
12/16/2009 at 4:22 am
Sorry my uterus is to old. lol Good luck with the search.
12/16/2009 at 7:35 am
I’d do it in a flash if I were young enough. Wish I were.
12/16/2009 at 7:56 am
I would do it, I know how you feel. Not sure if my body would still work, but we can always find out. Jeff and I wondered about doing this at one time, too.
Adoption is another viable option, though it takes forever, it seems.
12/16/2009 at 11:52 am
I am so sorry, Honey. I would do it for you in a heartbeat, but at my age…. I am sure you would be able to find a surrogate if that is what you choose. If not, there are a lot of babies out there that need great parents.
12/16/2009 at 2:07 pm
Tough choices. Get started with the adoption process and you never know what could happen. There is a baby out there for you.
12/16/2009 at 5:17 pm
Ugh… so sorry to hear this news.
12/17/2009 at 3:26 pm
I would try to find a surrogate while also starting the adoption process (I’m adopted and look how great I am!!). After all you have been through to get those embryos you should give it another chance through a surrogate if you can.
12/24/2009 at 12:38 pm
It sounds like a lot to take in, but surrogacy is a beautiful process! Take it from someone who has tried to do it twice! Having a surrogate will definitely not take away the end result which will hopefully be a beautiful baby to call your own!
Good luck!
09/03/2010 at 11:42 pm
If it is your lining that is the issue why doesn’t your doctor assist your lining with estrace?
After my fresh cycle my body was set up for a pregnancy but with a frozen they had to thick up my lining and I am on estrace and pio to maintain the preg until the placenta takes over around 10 weeks. I hope u come back to your post to see this and try once again with this in mind.
09/03/2010 at 11:47 pm
Just one more thing to add, we had to go through ivf because of male infertility. There is a way they can take testicular tissue sperm if you are having trouble w ur dh sperm. We had to use this method to obtain my dh sperm and my fresh ivf was successful. This frozen transfer is now 9 weeks so far along so good. Wsh you the best.
09/04/2010 at 7:36 pm
Hi Deb – thanks so much for your post. I have not written for a while, so here is a brief update. I did two things that were recommended to me. One – I went to an acupuncture clinic and not only did the needles – drank this pretty awful tasting herbal tea for two months. It was amazing; I finally had normal periods – no gross brown blood that dripped for days before my period started. Two – I did the estrace as you mentioned per the doctor. The result was my lining was the thickest yet and we got pregnant our very next round. Unfortunately, we miscarried, but at least we know we can get pregnant. Thanks again for the best wishes.