Posted in Humour on 11/05/2009 10:50 am by Michelle
It is a beautiful Saturday morning – I get up early to run to the clinic before going to pick up my friend Renata for a trip to Costco. As most of my close friends know, I am not a morning person, so while standing on me front porch locking the door – it takes a moment to sink in what I am starring at.
Where the fuck did my fence go!!
I walk back in the house and yell to Dirk upstairs;
M: “Dirk, the fence is gone.”
D: “What do you mean gone?”
M: “As in not there anymore.”
I then walk over to investigate – it is hanging in the neighbours yard – the metal post is bent in half – it took a lot of force to pull this over. First, the gate was ripped off the hinges a few months back – now this. I am still in WTF mode.
Update: It is now Thursday morning and I am lying in bed listening to a repetitive dull thumping. I am usually at work, so these sounds of people working away are new to me. Wait – what are they working on? I peek out the window – two men are replacing the fence – cool!! Wait – are they just banging back on the broken piece of shit that fell off? Yes they are. I am torn – do we tell them we’d rather have a nice new fence or let them continue to do all the work fixing the old. We are sticking with the old fence for now.
Posted in IVF, Pregnancy on 11/04/2009 04:22 pm by Michelle
We are in the midst of our FET protocol and it really does not feel like a real IVF round. I know that sounds lame – but we were going to the clinic almost daily, had a gamut of injections and pills to take, plus a surgical procedure to recover from.
This time we are only doing one shot each evening to suppress ovulation. I have to admit – we keep forgetting about the shot – the other night I was laying in bed – sat up and exclaimed ‘Shit the shot!’
I feel guilty about not being more attentive: is it because I am less stressed – less caring – even expecting it to work. If this is the roller coaster of feelings I am having now, I am afraid for Dirk when I am actually pregnant.
Posted in Environment on 10/26/2009 01:04 pm by Michelle
Last night at dinner, I was enlighted to a new search engine by Google called ‘Blackle’. It is the same search engine – that is powered by Google - but with a black background. Blackle was created to remind us all of the need to take action in our everyday lives to save energy. Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. A proposed theory is that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine – approximately 750 Megawatt-hours a Year.
Today, I set my search engine to Blackle. This way every time I load my Internet browser I will save a little bit of energy. Remember every bit counts!
Posted in IVF, Pregnancy on 10/19/2009 03:29 pm by Michelle
It has been 21 days since the start of my last cycle and today we are to begin the process for Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). As you recall from my last post, our issue is implantation. No area of in vitro fertilization (IVF) has been as misunderstood as implantation failure. Before an embryo can implant in the lining of the uterine cavity, it must first break out or “hatch” from the shell that surrounds it. It is at this point where our doctor believes that my immune system is not allowing our embryo’s to implant. It is his best guess, as our embryo’s are perfect.
We (well me) only needs to take one shot to suppress ovulation this time, which in itself is exciting, as you really feel like a pin cushion during this process. Once I get my period, I will need to take Estrogen twice a day for up to 7 days. Then Progesterone is added twice a day (and you recall how I feel about the progesterone). Since the doctor is going with the assumption that my immune system is wonky, he will be adding two drugs: Intravenous Inter-lipid which is a mild steroid (I am hoping this does not give me whiskers) and Heparin, a blood thinner.
It is amazing how my mood improves once the process starts again – I am excited that this is the round that we get the great news we have been waiting for. Third Time Lucky.
Posted in Humour on 10/10/2009 10:07 am by Michelle
Dirk: I think your hot.
Mich: Thanks, I think your good-looking too. It makes up for all the stupid shit you do.
Posted in Humour on 10/05/2009 11:00 pm by Michelle
My husband Dirk posted a blog regarding his extremely poor memory. Yesterday I got to experience – something – not sure what to call it.
While helping Dirk prepare dinner, I was asked to cut a lemon in half for him. I grabbed the lemon, split it in two and handed him half. I then noticed the little sticker that the grocery clerk uses to id the produce. In my usually manner, I removed the sticker and promptly suck it to Dirk’s ear. I then finished what I was doing and moved on to another task in another part of the house. An hour must have past when Dirk yells from upstairs – in my alarm I run to the stairs to see if he is okay. While looking in the mirror, he noticed something on his ear and was alarmed to find a sticker. I actually stood there looking at him dumbfounded. He had no idea how it got there or how long he had been wondering the house with it on. In his alarm, he was worried that he had gone jogging with it on.
I am not sure what to say – it was not a sneak attach like I was placing a ‘kick me’ sign on his back without him knowing. I walked over and stuck it to his ear, giggled, then continued what I was doing. I am sure glad he’s good-looking.
Posted in IVF, Pregnancy on 09/28/2009 05:50 pm by Michelle
It has been a difficult week struggling with the reality that there maybe something more wrong with me then just my age. We were thinking this process would be easy – one round and we are pregnant. This is just a technical difficulty due to a hasty decision to get a vasectomy – we got this nailed. Besides, the women in my family smell sperm a mile away and get pregnant!
Today, we met with the doctor. The news is still very positive, we have exceptional embryo’s, especially at my age. This leads him to conclude a couple of options: a) We were just beaten by the odds or b) I have an over active immune system that is not allowing the embryo’s to implant.
With eight frozen embryo’s, the decision is made that this round will be a frozen embryo transfer (FET) which will be much easier on my body. There will be no fertility drugs, but I will be taking the estrogen and progesterone to prepare. As you recall from my previous blog, this is where crap gets messy. Finally, they will introduce a steroid and a blood thinner to ensure my immune system gives these embryo’s a fighting chance.
I leave the doctor’s office armed with literature on the FET process and a requisition for a few more tests. I feel great, like we keep hitting snooze on my biological clock.
Posted in IVF, Pregnancy on 09/21/2009 01:10 pm by Michelle
The wait is over – today I wake up early and go to the lab for a blood test. I plan to be the first person there. I get up a 7:30 am to be there for 8 am. To my surprise the place is packed with more grey hairs then seniors day at the grocery store. I take a number and try to wait patiently for my turn. These 12 days have been so hard and I just want the results. My turn comes and the blood is drawn. In my anxisous state I ask how long to process and fax the results over to my doctor. The lady tells me that the van to take the samples to the main lab for processing does not even arrive until 10 am – so it will be late afternoon until I get my results.
When I get home I relay these details to Dirk. He wants me to call the centre to ensure they call us stat with the results – the clinical coordinator promises she will. It is 12:30 pm when the call comes – she is sorry to report that the results are negative. This time I know better then to question the results. There is no need to pee on the stick to confirm.
BFN – Big Fat Negative.
Posted in Health, IVF, Pregnancy on 09/19/2009 04:00 am by Michelle
During the IVF process – I have discovered many things about my body that I think I should have already known – but it is not until you are deeply entwined in the process that you realize how much of an idiot you are about how the girl parts work.
After the multitude of shots to suppress ovulation, stimulate follicle growth, and drop mature eggs – your ovaries are really not working just yet. So, prior to embryo transfer, you will need to simulate two hormones, estrogen and progesterone. Estrogen helps maintain the endometrial lining of the uterus, while progesterone prepares the lining for implantation of a fertilized egg.
Estrace pills are taken three times a day to ensure estrogen levels are being maintained. But the prometrium, that mimics the progesterone, is required to be taken inter-vaginally every eight hours.
Now, we have all had to insert a tampon or two in our day, so we are all familiar with the area and the concept. Put a pill on the end of your finger and push it in as far as you can. But hold on, no body told me there is going to be discharge that ends up yucking up the panties.
I started by wearing pantie liners – but this lead to a bad diaper rash. Great, not only am I impatient with the 12 day wait and have this stupid discharge, but I am now itchy and sore.
Posted in Health, IVF, Pregnancy on 09/17/2009 11:23 am by Michelle
As many of you know, Dirk and I are trying to have a baby. Dirk has been keeping the masses update via his blog on our IVF process, but I thought it was time for me to express my thoughts.
Our first transfer – I felt nothing. No sore boobs. No cramping. No anything. The outcome was negative, we were not pregnant. I am in shock – I do not believe the doctor – I question him like a idiot. Are you sure? Yes. What is my hCG? Zero. Just in case you are wondering – hCG (the hormone Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) is produced during pregnancy and in the first weeks is usually between 5 – 426 mIU/ml, doubling every 48 hours. So zero is not a good number.
With our second transfer, I feel different. I have had sore boobs for about a week now. Several days I have had cramping – almost like I am going to get my period. I have had a headache now for 4 days. There are waves of nausea. And the topper, I was watching ‘Meet the Fockers’ and got teary – this is a comedy folks!!
Now I wonder, is this in my head? Am I making them up? Are these just signs of my period and that again this did not work?
I go to get a new toothbrush today and came home with a pregnancy test. I put it away and hope that I can make it until Monday before losing my mind. Patience.