As a kid we all get asked, ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’. The answer is always filled with dreams of being doctors, lawyers, astronauts and firemen. Although, as a female, we all grow up also dreaming of being with doctors, lawyers, astronauts and fireman. I can tell you now, none of those kids are what they first answered or we would have a shit load of ‘billionaire playboy superheros’ and ‘princesses’.

I find asking this questions at any age is ridiculous. I am 45 years old and still not sure what it is I am going to end up being when I grow up. Don’t get me wrong, I did it all right. I graduated from high school – so I had a good start with ‘educated’ and not ‘drop out’. At that point I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I did what every lost 18 year old would do, I got a job in a restaurant. It was a great job filled with fun and, of course, money. I was living the dream.

It was after three years of working I asked ‘What do I want be when I grow up?’ I  decided I wanted to be an accountant, so I went back to college and proceeded to get several acronyms behind my name. I worked as an accountant for about 10 years before I realized how boring it was.

Again I asked, ‘What do I want to be when I grow up?’ It was answered when my company was looking for accountants to move into IT and help with a new software they were implementing. I was revived and my question answered again, I was now an IT Analysis. This job lead me through an amazing career ending up as a manager at a large Consulting firm. But, it was stressful and tiring, so change was again needed.

Again I asked, ‘What do I want to be when I grow up?’ My husband answered the question this time by asking for my help opening our second restaurant. It is exciting, yet scary, I have come full circle back to the restaurant life, so maybe the answer to my question was answered when I was 18.

Or was it?

Dirk: I think your butch.
Me: WTF?!!
Dirk: Well, you don’t look butch, but you act butch.
Me: I really don’t know how to take that.

I have been sitting on this posting since February, but thought it was time that I published it. I hope you enjoy.

For the last 6 months, I go in twice a month to watch our system complete the billing tasks, usually leaving at 2 am. On these late nights, Dirk will venture out for a drink with Speedy. They always have the intention of waiting until I join them after my shift. Tonight, I was able to leave at 1:30 am, telling Dirk I will pick him up downtown at one of the local pubs.

When I get there he is very drunk and standing with a  group of girls completely  ignoring me until his conversation is complete – giving me the ‘just a minute signal’ (Not cool when I am tired from a long night working). Finally, he walks over and proclaims I need to touch this girls ears – fuck that – get in the car. 

When we arrive home, I noticed that Dirk is not packed and we are leaving for the airport in 5 hours. When I point this out, he claims he is packed, its just not ‘in the bag’. Okay – have fun getting organized in the morning.

As we are getting ready for bed, I ask where the dog is. He walks to the top of the stairs and yells ‘Dummy, come to bed were not going to see you for 2 weeks (we are actually only going to 5 days – but correcting a drunk is pointless) so come spend some time with me’. The dog does not come up.  

Next, he decides at 2 am we need to watch a movie. At 2:05 am, I shut it off as he is fast asleep. As I am laying in bed trying to ‘will’ myself asleep when I hear something. Is that a bark? I look at the clock – 2:30 am. Again, bark. ‘Dirk, is Cash outside?’ I ask. ‘No’ he grumbles. ‘Bark’. I go downstairs and let the dog in.

I am not sure when I finally fall asleep, but I am awaken by Dirk getting out of bed, I look at the clock, 4 am. Fuck – 2 1/2 hours until the alarm. The garbage can starts to bang around the bathroom loudly. Really!! What the fuck now!! Silence. Then more banging of the garbage can. Silence. He is back in bed.

The alarm rings at 6:30 am and I drag myself to the bathroom and stare at the garbage can in the middle of the bathroom. WTF?! Oh yeah – Dirk. Bing! I start to piece it together. He got up in the middle of the night and yup, took a piss  in the bin. I promptly tell him that he is an idiot and to clean it up.