I have been sitting on this posting since February, but thought it was time that I published it. I hope you enjoy.

For the last 6 months, I go in twice a month to watch our system complete the billing tasks, usually leaving at 2 am. On these late nights, Dirk will venture out for a drink with Speedy. They always have the intention of waiting until I join them after my shift. Tonight, I was able to leave at 1:30 am, telling Dirk I will pick him up downtown at one of the local pubs.

When I get there he is very drunk and standing with a  group of girls completely  ignoring me until his conversation is complete – giving me the ‘just a minute signal’ (Not cool when I am tired from a long night working). Finally, he walks over and proclaims I need to touch this girls ears – fuck that – get in the car. 

When we arrive home, I noticed that Dirk is not packed and we are leaving for the airport in 5 hours. When I point this out, he claims he is packed, its just not ‘in the bag’. Okay – have fun getting organized in the morning.

As we are getting ready for bed, I ask where the dog is. He walks to the top of the stairs and yells ‘Dummy, come to bed were not going to see you for 2 weeks (we are actually only going to 5 days – but correcting a drunk is pointless) so come spend some time with me’. The dog does not come up.  

Next, he decides at 2 am we need to watch a movie. At 2:05 am, I shut it off as he is fast asleep. As I am laying in bed trying to ‘will’ myself asleep when I hear something. Is that a bark? I look at the clock – 2:30 am. Again, bark. ‘Dirk, is Cash outside?’ I ask. ‘No’ he grumbles. ‘Bark’. I go downstairs and let the dog in.

I am not sure when I finally fall asleep, but I am awaken by Dirk getting out of bed, I look at the clock, 4 am. Fuck – 2 1/2 hours until the alarm. The garbage can starts to bang around the bathroom loudly. Really!! What the fuck now!! Silence. Then more banging of the garbage can. Silence. He is back in bed.

The alarm rings at 6:30 am and I drag myself to the bathroom and stare at the garbage can in the middle of the bathroom. WTF?! Oh yeah – Dirk. Bing! I start to piece it together. He got up in the middle of the night and yup, took a piss  in the bin. I promptly tell him that he is an idiot and to clean it up.