You Want Massage?

Dirk and I are not new to the massage world. We have been regular clients and have come to fully anticipate what will be happening during the entire process.

Traveling to Asia, Dirk had mentioned his excitement at being able to get a weekly massage for cheap. I too liked the thought, but memories of my friend Dennis describing his massage in Thailand and the after effects. His legs cramping up to a point he could not decline a set of stairs for fear he would collapse and tumble to the bottom.

Our first night we slept in a bed harder then we are used to, so decided to get our first massage in Bali. There were two places side by side, each asking if we wanted a massage. Instead of choosing one, we both separated and enter one of the establishments.

It was set up fairly similar to places I had been in Canada, with the exception of leaving your shoes outside. I was lead to a room, told to undress and lay face down. Again, all pretty normal for a massage.

Once the lady returned to start the one hour massage, her first question was ‘Hard or Medium’. Thinking better of going all out my first time and distant memories of Dennis’ story, medium pressure seemed the best way to proceed.

The usual pressing and stretching began over the sheet to warm the muscles. Once that was completed, the sheet was lowered and hot only was applied. Everything was feeling the same until the slapping. I had seen it on TV, but never really had the karate chop technique performed on me. Just as I am thinking about the odd use of this technique, she bounds onto the table to stratal me for the beginning of the message. Okay, this is new and will need a little to get use to.

After a short period, she dismounts and the massage continues. Back, shoulders, arms and hands were all rubbed. This was great and very relaxing. I am starting to dose. Then wham! Did she just punch me in the hand? I am not too sure at this point.

She then moves to my head, I do love a head massage, very soothing. Again, I am thrown by the sudden hair pulling that is actually going to make me either yell or cry. WTF is that all about?! This is by no means soothing just painful.

Relieved that the hair pulling is over, she moves onto the lower part of my body. Again, the routine follows what I am use too. I feel we are back on track and I can just continue to relax. I guess I should have stayed alert, as the punching was not over and now was being delivered to my feet. This time I can’t help but laugh.

With my back side of my body completed, I am wiped down with a hot cloth and dried before turning over. The front was pretty much the same as the back without the punching. Except she did revisit the hair pulling one more time. I laid there wondering if this is what Dirk was going through in the massage parlour next door. I was also worried that with his decreasing amount of hair, he could not afford to have some lady pulling on it with such vigour.

Finally, she asked me to sit while she completed the last part of the massage. Sitting behind me she gave one last deep  massage in my back before she was completed. As I am dressing, all I could think of was I am so happy I asked for the medium!

Walking outside, Dirk was standing waiting for me. He asked me how it was. All I could say was I think I had my next blog posting.

Epilogue:

Later that evening we were back in our room. I started to comment about the massive amounts of oil on my panties. When I looked up at Dirk his entire back was bruised. It looked like someone beat the shit out of him, but I guess it was a 5 foot Balinese lady.

Travel Tip:

Hotels will charge you about 10 times more for a massage then that found in the towns (hotels are $115CAD compared to $5CAD in town). That is also true for yoga classes, food, and beverages – pretty much anything found at the hotel. Just because the price is reduced does not mean you are settling for less. Think about it, yoga classes are very much the same, no matter where you take the class. The spas in town are also safe and clean.

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