I like to listen to the radio when I drive to work in the morning. I find the humour gets me in the right mood before my 8 hour day. Today, I heard the most ridiculous announcement that I could not wait to share.

Victoria is a tourist town – most businesses are in the service industry and geared to the masses that start arriving  in May each year and continue to arrive until the middle of October. One hotel announced it is going to take their service one step further. The Holiday Inn is  now offering ‘bed warming’. Yes, bed warming. This entails a person showing up at your room wearing a head to toe flannel suit and laying in your bed until a thermometer they are wearing reaches 68 F (20 C).

So, you open the door to a six foot teletubbie who will then lay in your bed so it is warm for you. What do you do while they are laying in your bed? Shower? Make uncomfortable small talk?

‘Your not a Teletubbie!””‘
‘No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.’

It has been 21 days since my BOOM with the car and I am still feeling the effects. I have not slept a full night yet due to the pain in my neck and back. Sitting at a desk all day does not help matters – by the end of the day I am usually in a fair amount of discomfort. One of my injuries is my thumb – this really restricted my orange eating – as it was my peeling hand. Being Christmas, I usually put back my share of ‘Christmas Oranges’.

We have had the car two and a half years. When we purchased it we took the ‘New Car Coverage’ which, if it every was to be written off, we would get our full purchase price back. The adjuster calls to say the car is repairable with only $6000 in damage. If the body shop comes back and it is double, then they will write it off as the car is worth around $17,000. Well, it came back at more then double his estimate. They are fixing the car – it is a rip off to take the coverage as they won’t pay it.

To add insult to injury – I was pulled over by the police in my shitty courtesy car. There was no insurance on the car and the officer noticed this by the lack the tags. I was able to talk my way out of the ticket.

What a cluster fuck this entire situation is!!

Life is full of ‘firsts’. Your first word, first step, first kiss, first time you have sex, first time you drive a car. I have now added, the first time an air bag smashes you in the face.

It was 1:30 in the afternoon and my co-workers and I had just finished a fantastic holiday lunch full of laughter and great food. I called Dirk for no reason at all – then told him I was about to start driving so he told me no talking on the phone. I hung up and turned out of the parking lot and onto the main road – two minutes later I was back on the phone telling Dirk I was just in a head on crash. He could not really hear me since my horn was blaring as I was still sitting in the car. Which now that I think back, I really don’t know why? When an air bag deploys the car fills with what looks like baby powder – so after the crash you really feel like you are in a dream. Maybe that is why I was in a fog.

I got out of the car and people were running over and I was, well, confused as to what just happened.  I called 9-1-1 and let them know I was in a head on crash, she then corrected me, I actually ‘t-boned’ a car. Help came in the form of a police officer on a petal bike (really the guy on the bike got there first) – followed by an ambulance – two fire trucks – and another police car.

The girl that I hit had to crawl out of the passenger door as I smashed into the drivers side. She was crying, so I gave her a hug and told her it would be fine. All she could say was that she was so sorry. She was just coming from making a donation at the Salvation Army and could not see me coming (no shit) due to a truck turning. She pulled out and BOOM. That is how I met Chelsa.