“I ad-libbed a bit, but these are the notes I used:

I was the one to suggest that we write our own vows. Soon after I figured I might have gotten myself in over my head. For one thing I think I may have seriously overestimated the odds of me getting through it without breaking down and bawling like a baby. Also, It’s a pretty fundamental question. What do I say to you on this day. I didn’t really know what the right thing would be.

I was thinking about this when I realized I’m pretty lucky you are standing here at all. I’m not the easiest person in the world to live with. What little patience I have can be expended in a moment and then I hurt your feelings. I’m really easy going right up until I’m not, and then I’m really stubborn about the stupidest things. I have trouble telling you how I feel and so am prone to bouts of sulking like a child. Not to mention that you are a very neat and organized person and those are not words you would immediately use to describe me. The more I thought about these things the more I started to wonder if this was really in your best interest. I also discovered that I knew what I wanted to say.

You agreed to stand here today because of some of my personality traits, which you love, and despite a pile of others.

I promise to work on all of the things that define me every day. So the things you love me for, and the things you love me despite will get better. I promise to try and be a better man every day.

I love you.

You’re my girl.“

“I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH….

ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU,
GIVE MY LIFE, MY LOVE, MY HEART TO YOU,

ENOUGH TO WANT TO PROTECT YOU,
CARE FOR YOU, GUIDE YOU, HOLD YOU, COMFORT YOU, LISTEN TO YOU, AND CRY WITH YOU,

ENOUGH TO BE SILLY AROUND YOU, NEVER HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING FROM YOU, AND BE MYSELF WITH YOU,

I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO SHARE ALL OF MY SENTIMENTS, DREAMS, GOALS, FEARS, HOPES, AND WORRIES WITH YOU,

ENOUGH TO CHERISH YOUR FRIENDSHIP, ADORE YOUR PERSONALITY, RESPECT YOUR VALUES, AND SEE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE,

I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOU, COMPROMISE FOR YOU, AND SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR YOU,

ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, TO STAND BY IT THROUGH THE WORST OF TIMES, AND TO NEVER GIVE UP ON US,

ENOUGH TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU, BE THERE FOR YOU, WHEN YOU NEED OR WANT ME, I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE YOU, OR LIVE WITHOUT YOU,

I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH.”

“It’s been said that the best judge of a person is their friends. By that measure Michelle and I must be doing something right.

The wedding was a resounding success, both in that a legal union was formed, and that everyone had fun while it did. It’s a shame you can’t get married every year. What a good time. So many of your very favorite people in one place to have a big party, and a big party in which you are the guest of honor. Good food, tender sentiments, love, laughter, and drunken late night dancing. It’s a concoction I’d like to cook up more often.

I was most pleased about a few things:

Everyone had a good time. You are, after all, throwing an expensive party for your loved ones. You want them to have a good time. Thanks and congratulations are expected, but the frequency and fervency of those expressed to me assured me that everyone did indeed have fun.

I wanted a good group hanging in until the very end of the wedding. Getting drinks in bulk at last call. Calling cabs as the staff is turning up the lights and shoving you out the door. Mission accomplished.

The vows were singled out by many as a favorite part of the day. That makes both of us happy. We were a little nervous about the idea of writing our own. We had decided that Michelle would go first to reduce her chances of crying. Even as we came to that arrangement I knew I was doomed to be the one that would struggle. Although I did not disappoint in that area I am please that I managed to get a laugh out of the crowd and make almost every woman cry. The crying was not that hard, but it’s not easy to work a laugh into your wedding vows.

We had a room filled with so many great people who we love for different reasons. Some of whom know one another, but really a lot of islands of people with no specific connection to one another except for Michelle and I. I really hoped to mix those spheres of people up and have some of our groups of friends recognize the beauty in the others. So many people related stories of the wedding that involved telling me how great so and so was, or how much they laughed sitting at their table. That pleased both Michelle and I greatly.

Thanks to everyone who managed to attend. Lots of love from Michelle and Dirk.

Wisdom from the crowd

We had put little cards on the tables at dinner so people could answer a few questions we came up with. I was surprised how many were filled out. They ranged from heartfelt, to funny, to strange. Here they are though. [Editor’s comments in square brackets.] Continue reading Wedding Thanks →