Traveling in different countries, there are always new things to see and explore. Cultures are different, habits are different, food is different. You learn to adjust, accept the changes and enjoy the experience.

It is now our third week into our trip to Asia. After adjusting to the heat and the intensity of a Balinese Massage, we headed to Southern Bali for a week at a great resort for pure relaxation.

Upon arrival we were greeted with a cool cloth that smelt like heaven, followed by a refreshing beverage. The checkin process was seamless and pleasant, with a final warning. “Don’t Leave Anything Out for the Monkeys.””

<Got it – feeding monkeys bad.

The first night, while walking to the restaurant, monkeys were climbing walls and sitting on roofs. Nothing too exciting, but I have never seen a monkey in the wild.

The second day, walking back to the villa, the male walked right in front of me. Again, nothing to exciting, but still cool.

It was’t until the fifth day that we saw monkey’s again. I turned my head to see them playing by the pool in the villa next door. We watched for a while in awe. There wasn't too much difference with them as compared to us in a daily routine. Let the kids play until they are fucking exhausted and put them to bed.

They were jumping, wrestling, climbing, and what to appear as laughing together. All under the watchful eye of the adults. This went on for a longtime – moving from villa to villa. We sat and watched as they played in the neighbouring tub – climbing the outdoor curtains. Finally, as dusk hit, the adults gathered the kids and off they went.

On our last day, still on the monkey high from the previous day. We came home to a yard full of monkeys. Dirk went around the side of the villa to snap a few pictures. I walk out from the side deck to watch as well. It was not until two ran by me that I followed their route, right into the villa.

In a panic, I yelled at Dirk – ‘Monkeys in the Villa’ – by the time I entered – four were sitting on the dinning table eating all they could. Another four or five ran past me. Dirk came in and started to shoe them away – they grabbed as much food as possible and ran out the door. The last little fucker taking my chocolate bar I just purchased.

With the doors closed and the monkeys outside I felt relief. Until I spotted a baby in the corner. Then shit got real. It started to freak, I started to freak, monkey’s outside started to freak. No matter what we tried the little one would not go to the open door.

I don’t really blame him – there where very large animals throwing themselves at the windows. It was pretty fucking scary. The mother started to lose her shit, but a male took her down. Not sure if he was trying to calm her or if she was like me. Freaking out and not helping the situation.

While Dirk was trying his monkey whispering, I decided to call the number given in case we got monkey’s in the villa. Soon two security guards showed up. Sticks in hand and within seconds the monkeys outside were gone, well, mostly. We showed them the poor baby crying and frightened. The monkeys were still outside, watching intently for the slightest moment to enter again. It was close, the security left a door open and a male tried to enter.

There was climbing, stick waving, phone calls, bigger sticks, then poof the baby was gone. All the monkeys were gone. After discussion in a language I could not follow, they turned and stated: ‘Monkey Gone’. I sat there thinking, where the fuck did it go? And if it got out, can’t the rest of the angry mob get in? They seemed sure everything was fine.

I am still not sure how the baby got out or if the monkey’s will stalk us the rest of our stay, but we got back from the beach, someone shit on our porch.

Check out these photo’s of Bali – okay off to Malaysia.

 Travel Tip:

Before you reach your travel destination, ensure you know if you can drink the water or not. That means you will need bottled water to even brush your teeth or have a cup of tea. Bottled water in most countries is cheap and some places provide a couple free bottles at the start.

Singapore is a city that will ease you into Asian culture, but in the end it is just like a large North American city. The first thing I saw after getting off the plane was Starbucks, Burger King and Popeye’s. This was not what I was hoping and felt disappointed that we flew 18 hours and could not get away from the fast food crap of back home.

Singapore has been rated the most expensive city in the world. I agreed. A pint of beer runs around $18CAD and you only get 16 ounces, not the traditional 20 ounces. On our last night, Dirk and I sat along the Singapore River and each consumed two glasses of wine. This amounted to $65CAD, on the up side it was still cheaper then buying the bottle.

Our first night out we got a little hoodwinked. People stand outside their respective establishments trying to get you to come and eat. ‘Look at my menu. you like chicken?’ That night we spent $60CAD on a pretty good meal, but in Asia, that’s costly.

By the next day we had our shit together. We had spent time figuring out where not to get ripped off and where the best food was. We found two very good, but very busy Food Markets. Trying to decide what to eat was easy, go to the place with the longest line. Chicken and Rice was the most popular dish, so of course we tried it. Not too bad, even a very picky eater would like this. The meal was only $3CAD.

It is also one of the cleanest cities I have visited. There are laws against, littering, spitting, and chewing gum. All in the hopes of ensuring a cleaner and disease free environment. I know that most cities have by-laws, but these are strictly enforced. Camera’s are found in all areas of the city, if you litter, they will find you even if it is two hours later and issue a fine.

Getting used to the heat took a few days. Our first few days of touring the city in 33C weather was a little intense. After walking for a few hours in the heat, we decided to learn the train system to ensure we were getting some relief from the heat. Touring the Gardens by the Sea, I was getting so over heated, I was not looking at any of the surroundings, only a spot where I could hide in the shade. By the time we left Singapore, I thought the days were cooler, but it ended up it was the same temperature, I was just adjusting.

I am a tall buxom female in Singapore. I am also exotic with the tattoo. Dirk and I had several discussion about our friends that are taller and have larger breasts then me – they would be royalty in this town. Even walking by Hooters, yes Hooters, we had a chuckle at the Asian girls that qualified.

In the end we were happy to have stopped in Singapore, but as I said before, it really is just another large city.

Click here if you want to see pictures of Singapore.

Travel Tip:

Shoes are the hardest part of packing. Each person should have a pair of runners if you are going hiking or, of course, you are going running. Sandals are important in warmer climates, plus maybe one more pair of nice shoes for going out. I prefer flats as they pack up nicer and are more comfortable. In colder climates,  I would skip the sandals/flats and take blundstone boots, they are made for walking and warmth. Plus, they have the bonus of being very fashionable for casual nights out.

Dirk and I are not new to the massage world. We have been regular clients and have come to fully anticipate what will be happening during the entire process.

Traveling to Asia, Dirk had mentioned his excitement at being able to get a weekly massage for cheap. I too liked the thought, but memories of my friend Dennis describing his massage in Thailand and the after effects. His legs cramping up to a point he could not decline a set of stairs for fear he would collapse and tumble to the bottom.

Our first night we slept in a bed harder then we are used to, so decided to get our first massage in Bali. There were two places side by side, each asking if we wanted a massage. Instead of choosing one, we both separated and enter one of the establishments.

It was set up fairly similar to places I had been in Canada, with the exception of leaving your shoes outside. I was lead to a room, told to undress and lay face down. Again, all pretty normal for a massage.

Once the lady returned to start the one hour massage, her first question was ‘Hard or Medium’. Thinking better of going all out my first time and distant memories of Dennis’ story, medium pressure seemed the best way to proceed.

The usual pressing and stretching began over the sheet to warm the muscles. Once that was completed, the sheet was lowered and hot only was applied. Everything was feeling the same until the slapping. I had seen it on TV, but never really had the karate chop technique performed on me. Just as I am thinking about the odd use of this technique, she bounds onto the table to stratal me for the beginning of the message. Okay, this is new and will need a little to get use to.

After a short period, she dismounts and the massage continues. Back, shoulders, arms and hands were all rubbed. This was great and very relaxing. I am starting to dose. Then wham! Did she just punch me in the hand? I am not too sure at this point.

She then moves to my head, I do love a head massage, very soothing. Again, I am thrown by the sudden hair pulling that is actually going to make me either yell or cry. WTF is that all about?! This is by no means soothing just painful.

Relieved that the hair pulling is over, she moves onto the lower part of my body. Again, the routine follows what I am use too. I feel we are back on track and I can just continue to relax. I guess I should have stayed alert, as the punching was not over and now was being delivered to my feet. This time I can’t help but laugh.

With my back side of my body completed, I am wiped down with a hot cloth and dried before turning over. The front was pretty much the same as the back without the punching. Except she did revisit the hair pulling one more time. I laid there wondering if this is what Dirk was going through in the massage parlour next door. I was also worried that with his decreasing amount of hair, he could not afford to have some lady pulling on it with such vigour.

Finally, she asked me to sit while she completed the last part of the massage. Sitting behind me she gave one last deep  massage in my back before she was completed. As I am dressing, all I could think of was I am so happy I asked for the medium!

Walking outside, Dirk was standing waiting for me. He asked me how it was. All I could say was I think I had my next blog posting.

Epilogue:

Later that evening we were back in our room. I started to comment about the massive amounts of oil on my panties. When I looked up at Dirk his entire back was bruised. It looked like someone beat the shit out of him, but I guess it was a 5 foot Balinese lady.

Travel Tip:

Hotels will charge you about 10 times more for a massage then that found in the towns (hotels are $115CAD compared to $5CAD in town). That is also true for yoga classes, food, and beverages – pretty much anything found at the hotel. Just because the price is reduced does not mean you are settling for less. Think about it, yoga classes are very much the same, no matter where you take the class. The spas in town are also safe and clean.